Here we are, three years into our lives with Jules. Do we have it all figured out? certainly not! I will say that as a team we have become much more adapt to the world outside the box. It doesn't make life easy, or easier to explain to other people. Knowing that we are the world outside the box does make it easier to know that we don't have to convince those inside the box to understand. This makes it not only easier for us, but other's as well.
Julia suffers from PTSD, which in turn means that Ben, myself, Ella and Caleb also suffer from PTSD. We share the pain together. It is a very important part of our family. Explaining to a 6 and 7 year old that they need to bear the burden of a sibling that showed up in their life later in life than most siblings was not easy. Sometimes Ella and Caleb get it, sometimes they want their normal life back (who can blame them?!). I have come to realize that the children God blessed me with here on earth are some of the toughest people actually made. Many adults I know would crumble at what my kids put up with every day. Every day Julia has to put on her "super suit" and pretend life is OK and make it through until 3:14 when the school bell rings. Ella and Caleb have to make it through the cruel reality that people they don't remember made horrible choices that flipped their world upside down. Every day is filled with struggles the "average" family doesn't have to deal with. Halloween is a trigger, sub woofers are a trigger, masks are a trigger, too much dancing is a trigger, swimming is a trigger...etc. It is hit or miss every day, all the time. It is exhausting for all of us, but we work as a team. Through the screaming, tears, laughter, and learning...
No one promised an easy life. And I will admit, as I lay on my very uncomfortable couch bed in my living room, with no hope of a bedroom I can throw a pretty good temper tantrum , all due to the path I chose. I then seek further down though, leaning against a bunk bed, in the middle of the night making sure every one is snug, tucked in and warm and OK... I know... It's where I should be... right now, not matter what.
